Have you ever loved someone it literally hurts?
You know, that unbreakable bond that even through the TOUGH times you can still look at that person and smile because you love them so much?
Well for most parents that is the feeling we have when we look at our children.
Most of you know we have 5 children. Yes, FIVE.
Each one of our children brings us unspeakable joy in their very own way. And yet each one of them make us want to pull out hair out as well.
There is Allie, our 15 year old going on 25.
Aidan is 13 and loves his video games.
Alexie is 11 and my sassy princess.
Noah is the sweetheart that gives nonstop hugs.
And then there is Jonah. Oh, Jonah. He is definitely our “Wild Child” and the one that keeps us on our toes. He is the one that gave me a full head of grey hairs. But yet when he smiles it melts our hearts.
A little backstory on Jonah:
-Jonah turned 5 in May of ’19.
-He is the youngest and spoiled.
-He started Kindergarten this August.
-He is VERY bold, independent, and nonstop.
We started noticing behavior issues in the beginning of 2019. We just thought “oh he is a boy and he will outgrow it soon”. But there is something different about our 5th child. He can’t seem to control his actions. He doesn’t know boundaries. He doesnt show empathy like most kids do. Of he hurts someone he laughs instead of seeing if they are ok. Mind you he never does anything out of anger. He is always smiling and thinks everything is fun and games. It really stood out to us the first day of school when I received the first call. His (amazing) teacher was on the phone letting me know Jonah was having a breakdown and wouldn’t come out of his locker. He wouldn’t talk to them and kept covering his ears. The teacher asked if I could speak to Jonah to see if that would help in anyway. Of course when I got on the phone Jonah was past the point of no return. He was in full shut down mode and when he is there it is really hard to bring him back. Usually I have to leave him alone and let him come around when he calms down but that was hard to do while he was at school and with me talking to him over the phone trying to reassure him. It didn’t happen instantly but I reassured them he would be ok just to give him some space.
This type of behavior continued throughout the school year but it only seemed to escalate. He would physically hurt himself and others while being very disruptive. Mind you he is never angry when he acts out unless he is in his meltdown mode. He thinks it is funny to throw chairs and push or hit kids. As a parent you are broken inside because you want to “fix” your child to acting good. It hurts not knowing what to do. Even with FIVE kids everyday is still a learning lesson with Jonah.
It is the beginning of November and just had our very first SPED meeting that I called for in October. We discussed the plan moving forward and what actions we will be taking to better his future, the safety of himself, and the safety of others. That morning I had to sit in class with him because he was acting out BAD. He did something scary and when I let them know in the meeting they informed me to head to Cooks to get him checked out. Of course I was worried to so that is exactly what we did. Greg was at work so I immediately called my Mom to let her know how much I needed her with me that afternoon. She met us at the hospital and went through the procedure of a child who tried to harm his self. We left with referrals and were put on 2 waitlists for day treatment. Day treatment will consist of me dropping him off from 8am and picking him up at 3pm. The first half with be therapy and such while the second half will be him going to their school. Throughout this time they will have him on medication and be keeping an eye on him as well. He will come home everyday and we get to report back with progress notes. We as parents will be able to let them know if a medication isn’t right for him and we will be able to work together as a unit to better Jonah. Most people will say “he is 5. He is just a boy. Let him grow up” but until you walk in our shoes then you have no idea what we have been through to make this important decision. We are looking out for Jonah in the end and how we can better him and the safety of others as well.
Now we are now in the process of having to wait for a spot to open up so a behavioral specialist and a phycologist can work with him and check him out so he can be prescribed medication. If you know me we have tried every type of holistic method out there and for him it just isn’t working.
We as his parents feel 110% positive this is the first step in the right direction. Please send all your prayers for the perfect Doctor for Jonah who will listen to our concerns and help him in every way possible. Pray that Jonah will be cooperative and receptive to this new change and that we as a unit will benefit in every positive way possible. Thank you all for being so acceptive to our decisions and for sending all your love and prayers our way. We will definitely need them this next 3 months.
The Tucker’s and Jonah